Pumpkin Patch of the Damned
by Eric J. Krause
Why the hell wasn't this ever an easy process? And every year Daisy had to come during the game. Just because there were games morning, noon, and night on Saturdays didn't make it any better. Think of all the great plays he was missing.
"Daddy, can I go in the bouncy house?"
He looked over at the purple balloon structure shaped like a haunted house, complete with a blow-up Frankenstein and a few sheets with eye holes cut in them glued to the side. Those things used to be a huge treat when he was a kid, but nowadays you couldn't go a city block without bouncing into one.
"No, we're going to grab a pumpkin and get out of here."
"Don't listen to your father. Go have fun, baby."
"Yo, Dad, a corn maze. I'm gonna go check it out."
A corn maze? In the suburbs? He'd been in a corn maze once when he was a kid. His parents drove he and his brothers an hour and a half out of town to get to a farm in the country. Now here was one in this empty lot that'd probably be a Denny's or a Walgreens by this time next year.
"No, we're just here for a pumpkin. Go grab your sister and pick one out so we can get on home."
"Pish-posh. Go have fun, sweetie. Don't get lost!"
He turned to Daisy, ready to tell her off. She'd promised him fifteen minutes, half-an-hour tops. Now here she was sending the kids off to pointless activities instead of what they were here for: to find a carving pumpkin.
Before he could lay into her, her eyes sparkled. "Ooh, a craft fair. You don't mind, do you honey?"
Holy hell, a craft fair? How could this lot hold so much crap? Were there even any damn pumpkins in this pumpkin patch? None that he'd seen. Next year they'd just get one at the megamart down the street. If they'd done that this time, he'd be on his way home by now to watch State versus U.
"No, Daisy. Come on. You promised. Get the kids, let's pick out a pumpkin, and we'll get out of here."
Of course she paid him no mind and wandered over to the half-dozen or so booths, her hand already in her purse to snatch out her wallet.
He found a random bale of hay and took a seat. His eyes scanned all three attractions, but he couldn't spot the kids or his wife. Would he ever see them again, or was he stuck forever here in this pumpkin patch of the damned?
Ooh, Honey/Dad is dressed up as a curmudgeonly coot?
ReplyDeleteHe needs to run amok through autumnal leaves and release the inner child! ;)
Happy Halloween!
Oh what memories you bring about here Eric. :) For years our son's school held their fall festival on THE day of my team's biggest rivalry game. By the time they figured out they needed to change the date, he was over the ginormous blown-up kid-traps, a.k.a. inflatables. Such is life.
ReplyDeleteOf course, since he can't spot anyone, you know where my mind goes next!
ReplyDeleteMaybe next year he could bring a portable tv with him and set it on a bale of hay. :)
Happy Halloween!
Too much football makes divorce lawyers rich people.
ReplyDeleteGee, he's up for father of the year, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteNice work.
Great way to get rid of one's bratty husband! Imagining the Great Pumpkin rising up and clobbering or eating him alive.
ReplyDeleteHappy Halloween! Thanks for the fun story!
CD
I say let this dad rot in the patch, just like my pumpkin did (it collapsed in the 80 degree Florida humidity).
ReplyDeleteHa! The big twist is that this world of hell, is YOUR world, dear reader! Mwaahaaahaa!
ReplyDeleteNice!
I bet he's still looking for his pumpkin. Never mind the family :D
ReplyDeleteEveryone is always in a hurry, but I get your frustration projected here. Still, sometimes it helps a TON to just let the inner child run free.
ReplyDeleteYes! I was hoping for pumpkin patch story and you delivered. Do you think the great pumpkin stole his family?
ReplyDeleteThe siren cry of every male poisoned by the permanent lure of sports: everything is damned when it gets in the way of the addiction. Which explains why I do not read #FridayFlash during the World Series.
ReplyDeleteGood capture of the feeling, Eric. I'm proud of Daisy and the family for not letting the Dad spoil it all.
Jeff Posey
I really felt for the poor fellow. I detest shopping and the invariably crowded places where such things happen :)
ReplyDeleteA quiet pub, with Liverpool FC on the telly ever disappointing me is far preferable!
Having once tried pumpkin soup, the thought of a "pumpkin patch of the damned" is truely terrifying.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff
Thanks for the kind comments, everyone! Glad you enjoyed the story. It's funny, but I had every intention of making this one a horror story. I came up with the title first, but the ol' muse decided on this instead. It was fun to write, especially since I rarely write stories without some sort of speculative slant.
ReplyDelete