Writer's Block
by Eric J. Krause
He sat staring at his computer, not sure what to type. The word processing program laughed at him, taunting him to try writing something, anything. His fingers chose not to obey.
"C'mon, Jerry, think. If you can't get this done, how are you going to accomplish anything?"
His pep-talk didn't work. The blinking cursor made him realize how hopeless he really was. Maybe his wife was right to leave him. Maybe his friends were wise in giving up on him. Maybe the world would be a better place if he just guzzled dozens of pills, jumped off a high building, or picked up a wicked razor.
Tears gurgled up out of his eyes, and he didn't bother blinking them back. The warm tracks they left down his cheeks didn't make him feel better, but they snapped something awake in his brain. His right index finger pushed the "m" key.
Could he work with that? Another minute passed. No inspiration. The first sob erupted from deep within as he moved his hand to hit the backspace button.
But wait. With a clumsy slip, he hit the "i" key, and everything stopped. He couldn't breathe. Yes, this would do. Though the sobs didn't subside, at least now they were pouring out in happiness.
"Milk, eggs, butter, bread."
He smiled, maneuvered the mouse to the print button, and stood up to get his shoes.
Oh, the pain writers self-inflict!
ReplyDeleteLaugh out loud funny piece... :)
Don't forget the ice cream.
Heh. Some days, any words are better than no words. ;)
ReplyDeleteMelodrama at its most hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI felt the pain. You've been peeking through my window, haven't you!
ReplyDelete"His right index finger pushed the "m" key.
ReplyDeleteCould he work with that?"
HA! hahahahahahahahaha
I had a writer ask me this morning if I had any advice on writer's block.
I suggested sex. But hey if grocery shopping works for Jerry. More power to him.
oh. and the sex was with his significant other, I wasn't OFFERING.... just clearing that up before Laura gets here. Or Anton. Or Marisa comes back. hee hee hee
You got me, Eric. Keen idea to focus all the anxiety of composition onto that list. Quite funny!
ReplyDeleteNice grocery list. Sometimes the first keystroke is the toughest... Fun concept.
ReplyDeleteOh, darn. Karen cleared up her remark. She's no fun.
ReplyDeleteThis was a giggle story! Sometimes that grocery list is harder for me than writing fiction. :)
Sometimes you've just got to put words on the screen!
ReplyDeleteGood to laugh - Milk, bread.....
ReplyDeleteLists always help -- so funny. Sadly, so true... Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff. I have actually stared at blank paper before when trying to scribble a shopping so this feels funny cos it's true. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteDon't let Karen fool you with that last paragraph in her comment!
ReplyDeleteDo you see how you have to SCROLL down a bit before her disclaimer? It's so easy to miss.
Yep. Significant other, indeed.
Funny, but I can't help feeling bad for the guy. Lost his wife and all his friends because he can't write a grocery list? Poor guy. Bad times.
ReplyDeleteHa! That was great! There are just moments in life when any little thing can be gut-wrenching. I really enjoyed that!
ReplyDeleteAlways keep one eye on Karen, and don't believe everything she writes, hehe
Any page is better than a blank page. Funny story. Very entertaining and I think all of your readers can relate.
ReplyDeleteCute!
ReplyDeleteAwww - oh how I feel for him! Shopping lists are HARD. I think he needs to treat himself to a cold beer as well.
ReplyDeleteHeh, I don't know about writer's block, but I get shopper's block every time. Great flash :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I hate that...I can never remember what I need when I come to write it down! Very funny, 'cause sadly, we've all been there! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you, everyone, for the very nice comments to this story. I had fun with it, especially since we've all been there, as so many of you said.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you write, Eric!
ReplyDeleteSo clean and fresh and fun.
Enjoy your stories every week, including this one.
Jerry should do what I do: keep a list on the fridge and add to it; avoids the terror of the typewriter.
I think he needs chocolate on that list. The melodrama was hilarious.
ReplyDelete