Thursday, October 28, 2010

Halloween FridayFlash #2--Bloody Mary

This is my second #FridayFlash for the week. You can find my first one, a kid friendly horror tale, here.

Bloody Mary
by Eric J. Krause

Jenni handed Samantha a thumbtack. "Jab your thumb and wipe the blood on your forehead. Then spin around three times and say, 'Bloody Mary,' each time."

"No," Samantha said. "That'll hurt."

"But you said 'dare,'" Melinda said. "If you don't do it, you lose."

"And we tell the whole school you like Gerald Wilcox," Jenni said.

Samantha froze. They would, too. They'd been holding that threat over her head to make her do whatever they wanted ever since Jenni saw her doodles proclaiming her love for Gerald on the inside of her notebook. Fine. What was a few seconds of pain compared to an entire school year of torture?

"What happens after I spin and say her name?"

"Bloody Mary will show up in the mirror over the fireplace," Melinda said.

Samantha chuckled. "And then she'll grant me my greatest wish, right?"

The other two girls rolled their eyes. "No," Jenni said. "She'll probably do something bloody. Why do you think they call her Bloody Mary?"

Samantha held out her thumb and positioned the tack over it. The two girls squealed in delight and pushed closer. They hadn't thought she'd do it. She nicked her thumb, bringing a quick sting, and fought hard not to jam it in her mouth. Instead, as the rules said, she rubbed the blood on her forehead and spun three times, chanting "Bloody Mary," with each spin. Only then did she suck her thumb to quell the bleeding.

Jenni was the unlucky one who noticed first. She let out a gasp and pointed to the mirror. Blood poured down her face as her eyeballs melted. Melinda screamed and tried to run out of the room, but her yells turned to gags, and she skidded down on the carpet. Her tongue turned to gore, and blood gushed from her mouth.

An evil presence grabbed Samantha by the chin and forced her to look at the mirror. A beautiful woman with alabaster skin, a blood-red dress, and glowing eyes smiled down at her.

"How did you trick them into letting you call me, my daughter?" Bloody Mary asked.

Samantha flashed a wicked grin. "Mind manipulation. These two stupid sluts proved to be no challenge."

"All because of the boy?"

Samantha scoffed and gave her mother a look that said she was getting a bit dull in her old age. "Not any boy. Unwittingly or not, they did almost force out the Anti-Christ before his time. The agents of good would have no doubt intervened and put an end to his wicked ways before we could even start. And where would that leave us?"

A whimper escaped Jenni as she tried to look around the room with holes where her eyes used to be. A strangled moan erupted from Melinda as she reached into her mouth, only to find her tongue obliterated.

"Let me put them out of their miseries, Daughter. I swear, sometimes you surpass even me in your cruelty."

"Don't go soft on me, Mother. We've been planning this for two millennia. These girls mean nothing in the grand scheme of things."

"Fine, fine. Shall I take my leave for now?"

A look of hate flashed across Samantha's face. "Not yet. The blind one's parents are around somewhere. Don't you think their genitals need to be punished for breeding such a stupid bitch?"

28 comments:

  1. Bwahahaha! Nice twist on a classic. Love the end. Daughter is definitely more dangerous than the mother. :)

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  2. You tricked us with a real horror treat. Fun read, Eric.

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  3. Perfect for Halloween! certainly a fun read. :)

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  4. Shocking! Bloody Mary has a daughter? Now that's a great twist on a Halloween staple. Great story!

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  5. *gigglesnort* This was great. I like the way you start us off thinking, "Oh, poor Samantha!" and then WHAP.

    Those girls had it coming. Nice job!

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  6. What a switch, halfway through. This is real horror, Eric--it's almost the prologue to a book. Now I want to read the book. :)

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  7. Creepy games, creepy tricks. Great story!

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  8. I'm with Jen. More! Such a cool set up. Well done sir!

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  9. Wow, did you slap it on us hard Eric! And what a pow of an ending. Well done sir!

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  10. Yikes! Daughter is way more evil than the mother. Great horror tale for Halloween, Eric!

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  11. Quite a powerful departure from your other story! What's a Halloween without some melted eyeballs?

    Great story!

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  12. Brutally creepy. Well done.

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  13. Whoa, that was cold. OUCH.

    I'm still shivering.

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  14. I think I played that game when I was eleven or so. Man am I glad it didn't turn out like that! I was hooked the whole way through. Well done as always.

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  15. The antichrist is named Gerald.

    *gulp* I have a friend named Gerald. He's taking me to dinner tonight for my birthday.

    This is fiction right Eric? Right?

    um...I think I need to make a call....

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  16. This week it's a two-fer from you. I read your other story first. So I wasn't prepared for the gut-punch this one provides. Nice change up.

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  17. Great twist!
    Kari @ The Best Place By The Fire

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  18. Melted eyeballs and tongues, love it! This was pretty evil, nice one! Happy Halloween :-)

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  19. Great shivering Halloween tale. And a neat stinger in the end.

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  20. Wicked twist. The daughter truly is more terrifying.

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  21. Gorily fiendish, I liked the twist about punishing the parents too.

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  22. Thanks for the great comments! I'm glad everyone seemed to like this one. I had fun writing it. I actually sat down to write my Halloween week Friday Flash when I wrote this one, so I let myself go a bit (not too much, but a little more than normal for Friday Flash). I don't remember how Bloody Mary got into my head when I started, and at first I was going to have Samantha be an innocent in this story, but obviously she had other plans...

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  23. Oh I LOVE this! Definitely a fantastic take on the tale. Brilliant stuff.

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  24. Gah! What a fun ride, Eric! That Samantha is quite something else. Shudder.

    And the Antichrist is named Gerald. You just never can tell about people, can you?

    Awesome story!

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  25. Hilarious - always weary of reading any type of Halloween story in case I scare myself, but this was genius

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  26. One more thing I thought I'd share about this since a few people brought up the antichrist being named Gerald. I originally named him when Samantha was the picture of innocence, but when she changed, I reread and decided Gerald should stay. Who would ever suspect a Gerald of being the ultimate evil?

    Just a little peak behind the curtain...

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  27. Sorry I'm late to this but yes, I would welcome more... The verdict is in!

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  28. Wickedly awesome, Eric. Love the twist at the end.

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