Take That First Step
by Eric J. Krause
Blue water sparkled below. The white wash of the current dashed against the jagged rocks of the cliff face. It was pretty as a painting, as his momma used to say. He was high enough up that he couldn't see the individual waves, so it might as well have been on a canvas.
Up here all that existed was him and the beautiful sights. He refused to turn and look at the landmass. That brought nothing but thoughts of his failed marriage, his soon to be ex-job, and the mountain of debt he'd never manage to claw his way out of. No, his future didn't lie that way.
He'd never been up here before. In fact, he hadn't even known this breathtaking point existed. With so much going wrong, he needed something right in his life. He'd parked his car in a turnout on the highway and hiked up through the rocks and shrubs in the off-chance he'd find something wonderful. His shoes weren't ideal for the terrain, and he knew his slacks were now trash-bound, but he had to take the gamble. If he'd done that with more frequency, maybe his life wouldn't be utter garbage. He'd read that risk-takers often had the most success. Slow and steady didn't always win the race.
As he looked out at the ocean view, he understood how that was true. If he had decided to keep driving, he'd certainly be home by now, but so what? This--this awe-inspiring, life-altering view--would never have existed. For him, at least. If he listened hard enough, he could make out the crash of the waves. And hints of the salty sea air wafted to him, bringing a peace he no longer thought he could have.
All this because he dared get out of his car and take that first step. After all these years, could that be the meaning of life? Take that step. Take the plunge. Yeah, that sounded right. Not just sounded right, but it felt right. That was advice that would fix everything.
Without another thought, he took that first step off the cliff's edge. He took the plunge.
Love the double meaning here. Great job.
ReplyDeleteOh Eric, this is fabulous! Considering the title, you're wondering throughout if he indeed is going to jump, but you gave us so much contradiction - him admiring the view, leaving us to wonder if that beauty will help him overcome his troubles and take the first step toward healing, or if he will, well, jump. I absolutely love a story that does that. Superb!
ReplyDeleteYou really kept us wondering throughout this entire story. The payout was sad, but well done.
ReplyDeleteNicely done! A very motivating storyline even if it does end tragically.
ReplyDeleteIt says a lot about my mental state right now that I find this whole scene so comforting. You did a wonderful job of taking the reader to the cliffs edge and pushing us to look at the view through your protagonist's eyes. Well Done.
ReplyDeleteI like the ambiguity here, Eric. Even though he does jump, I'm not entirely sure that it's a fatal jump, or that if the jump might not be the start of a whole new adventure.
ReplyDeleteYou left me wondering what his first step was going to be. If he had seen it all, if he did know it all - what was there to experience?
ReplyDeleteHopefully? How it feels to pull your parachute.
Maybe I'm being dense, but isn't it possible that "he took that first step off the cliff's edge" in the other direction?
ReplyDeleteNewly inspired, maybe "He took the plunge" back into his life?
Works either way for me. Nice work Eric!
"Risk takers often had the most success"
ReplyDeleteThe big crash of 1929 had plenty of those stepping from high places.
Very poignant writing Eric, leaving the reader with their own choice of ending. good story.
You seem to understand this fellow well. I really like the ambiguity of this piece. One nice detail is the sense that he may only be jumping into a pretty picture of peace, like in his emotionally exhausted state he convinced himself it was real.
ReplyDeleteSuch a shame that such a powerful epiphany should perhaps come too late.
ReplyDeleteVery sad, but so well written!
ReplyDeleteFunny how logic can bend to the will of the mind. In desperate times, we see what we want to see. I hope he finds peace for his troubled heart.
ReplyDeleteSad, sure ... but another great one. I guess that's the pay off...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful contradictory ending.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
Icy put it very well. I was cheering for him to use the moment to change his life in a different way. The way you ended it was more powerful, though. Great story, Eric.
ReplyDeleteI had no doubt as to the end of the story but I like the way he found beauty and peace before he took that final step. That's really a much better way to go than in despair.
ReplyDeleteComments suggest almost everyone experienced this story the way I did: as a picture of hope and potential joy, regardless of what "actually" happened. I can easily read it as a metaphore for a breakthrough to a higher state of being. Amazingly good work, Eric.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the great comments! This is another example of a story I had no idea where it was going when I started. I believe the prompt was: Blue, the color or emotion. I started with the color of the water and then decided I'd tie the emotion in, too. It sort of built from there. I was going to hurl him off the cliff, and then I decided to save him, and then I decided to toss him off again. I find it interesting that many of you still think he'll turn out fine. Not my intention, but reading it again, I can see it. So it seems to have more of an ambiguous ending than I intended, and I'm fine with that.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much more truth in the ending you intended and it is the bravery of his choice which is the thing. Quite a philosophical story and all the better for it. It's my first #fridayflash read this week (yes, i know, i'm late again), so you set a high benchmark Eric.
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