Mother's Bath
by Eric J. Krause
Mother smacked Sandra on the top of her head. "Be gentle, damn it! I'm a dainty little flower."
Sandra frowned. Dainty little flower, my behind. Instead, she said in as cheery a voice as she could muster, "Sorry, Mother. I'll be more careful."
It wasn't bad enough she had to be Mother's caregiver tonight, with the bath, cooking dinner, and dressing her for bed, but missing Senior Prom made it all the worse. She even had a date with Jimmy Bob Brennan. All the girls at school were jealous. Not that it mattered anymore since she had to cancel.
She wouldn't have had any fun anyway. Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that, girl. No one could dance like Jimmy Bob, and now he was going to have his moves busting with some other chick. It wasn't fair. She'd have been a classy girl, not some whore ready to go down on him at a moments notice. True, she'd already planned on giving him her virginity tonight, but she'd do it lady like. She wouldn't have pushed her cleavage in his face and rubbed her rump all over him on the dance floor. Well, she might have, but she wouldn't have been a slut while doing it.
None of it mattered anymore. Maddie had seen to that. Her little sister, the so-called brains of the family, needed to have the night off from taking care of Mother because she had a big school project due on Monday. Daddy made Sandra cancel her plans for the prom, even though he knew she'd been looking forward to it all year, so Maddie could stay over at one of her stupid friend's house to work on the project. He wouldn't listen to any reason. And what pissed Sandra off even more was the smug look on Maddie's face as she walked out the door, her backpack slung over her shoulder. She probably didn't even have a project due. She just wanted to ruin Sandra's night, ruin her whole life.
"Watch out with that damn soap. I'll make your father rub it in your eyes, see how much you like it."
"Sorry, Mother. I'll be more careful."
No one knew what was wrong with Mother. The doctors had run every test they could think of on her, but nothing had come back conclusive. With the medical bills piling up, the family couldn't afford a live-in nurse, so Sandra and Maddie had to take over. Mother had no strength and could hardly move on her own, and if you weren't careful when you helped her, she'd scream out in pain. And to make matters worse, there was nothing wrong with her mouth or her temper.
Sandra didn't know how much longer she could take it. Mother could live for another thirty years or more. The doctors had no idea. Since Maddie was seen as the smart one, already on the fast-track to college, and Daddy working double shifts at the plant six days a week, taking care of Mother fell almost exclusively on Sandra.
She'd thought about suicide. The After-School Specials they showed in homeroom gave her some great ideas. But that wasn't the way to go. She wanted to have fun, and if she were dead, she couldn't have any. But it came to her as she gently scrubbed Mother's back. Maybe it was the missed prom. Maybe it was the though of Jimmy Bob with some other girl. Whatever brought it on, it was a stroke of brilliance.
"Damn it, girl, put your elbows into it. I can feel the crud building up back there. But do it gentle like. Why can't you be half as smart as your sister?"
"Sorry, Mother."
And she was, sort of. She gave a gentle nudge to the top of Mother's shoulders. If anybody had been watching, it would've looked like an accident. Mother's head slid down towards the water. She tried to brace herself to keep from going under, but that strain brought out a scream of pain. Sandra gave her another push, and she screamed again. Words were trying to form, but panic had set in, and Mother couldn't let out anything Sandra could understand. It was just as well. Sandra shrugged and watched her slip all the way under.
Good thing no one was home.
this was the only possible outcome for her to have a chance at any life at all. Unfortunately I think forensics are going to do for her and she's going to spend it in jail. She'll have to put out in prison...
ReplyDeletemarc nash
Yes, but she'll do it all ladylike, Marc.
ReplyDeleteHey Eric, great stuff!
You'll have to start another book now and make sure you include it.
You paint a grim picture. It's well painted, but it's grim. :) I htink Marc's right, not much fun in the big house.
ReplyDeleteI like that she gets her ideas from the After-School Specials. I doubt she's alone in that.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone could have blamed her for this, though it makes me wonder... what next?
Chilling read. Love the mom's contradictions--scrub, but gentle. Enough to drive anyone to irrational conclusions.
ReplyDeleteWhoa! But, what did they expect?!
ReplyDeleteYes, I've seen enough of these cop shows to know that they ALWAYS find out!
ReplyDeleteBut I have plenty of compassion for young Sandra.
Inescapable logic, well presented. And that snotty sister.
ReplyDeleteLoved this one!
I'd think of euthanasia sooner than suicide, too. Shame I'm not as smart as that sister. Good work, Eric.
ReplyDeleteOh it's so awful, I felt sympathetic, then guilty for being so. No goodies or baddies, just people. That's the way I like it :o)
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad more people don't take baths any more. I'll remember this story when I'm old and wandering the neighborhood, wild hair streaming behind me, as I scare children and impose upon my relatives. At least I think I'll remember... Good story, Eric.
ReplyDeleteShe got great ideas for the After School Specials. That line alone made this worth the read,but it was all great. Grim, terrible, frightening and hopeless, but great.
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done...so matter of fact that it created the eerie atmosphere automatically. Very realistic.
ReplyDeleteGoing to give me nightmares, this one.
ReplyDeleteI am going to stop telling everyone at home that I am a delicate flower. They might want to thank you personally ;-)
~2
The parts about losing her virginity in a ladylike way and the After School Specials lines made me smile. And the ending... You did well with building sympathy for her.
ReplyDeleteCD
Not smart enough...
ReplyDeleteYou've shown her as a sympathetic character even while she's killing her mother. Great job.
This piece is funny, grim and positively twisted. I love how the comments are all "Yeah- you go girl. Knock off the old lady!" Like she didn't have the option of walking out the door and leaving the old bird by herself in the bathtub instead of murdering her. :) Writers are funny that way.
ReplyDeleteI loved it just how you wrote it, too. Very entertaining.
A sketch of good and evil. One evil creates a good result. What does one do when another is beyond the point of retribution? Grave moral questions raised here my friend.
ReplyDeleteWasn't expecting that ending. I suppose she goes to the prom and ends up pulled home by the police? Sad story that turns into violent tragedy by the end.
ReplyDeleteWow, a psychotic in the making. What does the mom expect. You make someone miss the prom and WHAM, you pay.
ReplyDeleteIt sent chills down my spine. Good for you.
Thank you, everyone, for the great comments on this! I appreciate them.
ReplyDeleteWow, good stuff. I enjoyed the ending!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good one. I love the way you describe how she gets the idea of murder. Just like a stroke of genious and an impulse act. Lovely and chilling.
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